Second Guesses and a Survey of the Class
The first thing you need to know is that when we chose a pediatrician I wanted one in Manhattan because I am a huge snob and thought that certainly the best pediatricians would be in Manhattan even though I do love Brooklyn through and through, I do.
Eric worried that the pediatrician I had chosen was too far away.
As it stands now we love our pediatrician, and so far she doesn't seem to be too far away. Still I made note of his concern.
When I started meeting more and more neighborhood parents it turned out that several of them were visiting the new Tribeca Pediatrics branch in the neighborhood. (We don't live in Tribeca. It's still called that.) The founder of the practice is Dr. Michel Cohen (named by the New York Post as the hip "must-have" pediatrician). Those pictures of him all look pretty great, not only because he's French and rides a bicycle everywhere, but because Annie Leibovitz shot them...because her children go see him.
If you read this article, you'll also see that he's "not for everyone".
A few weeks ago while at the Giggle sample sale, I picked up his book The New Basics and also the Weissbluth for good measure.
We've been under the impression that Sophie is teething, because at times her drool is so fantastic it inspires me to ridiculous hyperbole. SHE IS A GREAT MYTHIC BEAST. SHE IS DROOLING AND STOMPING HER WAY ACROSS THE COUNTRYSIDE. GREAT LAKES HAVE BEEN FORMED IN THE FOOTSTEPS LEFT IN THE WAKE OF HER AMERICAN TRAVELS.
Also she enjoys chewing on her fingers.
But then I read The New Basics which described the scenario above and then said "the next door neighbor, who knew somebody who had a baby once, confidently diagnosed her fits as 'teething episodes,' but we looked all over her mouth and couldn't find any teeth at all." Then he goes on to say that babies just have a lot of saliva at this age and also like to chew on their fingers, and get upset when they're overstimulated.
This made me feel a little silly. Then I wondered how I would really know if she was teething or not. Then I thought, who cares? She's in some sort of discomfort, does it matter if teeth are coming, slowly, or not at all? Then I though, yeah, it might matter, because I don't want to give her medication for teething if she isn't.
So feel free to share your thoughts on this subject.
The last issue is this. Sophie used to sleep through the night. Now she doesn't. Partly because she might be teething. Partly I suspect it's because she's had a few developmental spurts. I'm back at work now so this is more difficult than it used to be as well.
So the Modern Basics book and the Weissbluth say that she's old enough to self soothe. All we have to do is put her in her crib and let her cry until she figures this out. The only problem is I find this impossible to do. We tried it once and I did exactly what you're not supposed to do--I went and got her when I couldn't handle it any more. On one hand I find it crazy/silly/impossible to let her cry and cry when I can make her feel better very quickly. On the other, I worry that she's not learning to self soothe and maybe I'm being a bad parent by not letting her learn, because it's easier for me to fix it than to let her learn for herself. And then I also wonder if I'm being a selfish parent because I'm expecting my baby to conform to my schedule, since I want to be a working mom. Also, me, me me me, and finally, me. Sophie seems to be just fine with the amount of sleep she's getting.
So in the meantime I've gone into the complete other direction by attending to her at night, and then pulling her into the "family bed" in the mornings for a nursing/sleeping session and cuddling. I didn't think I'd be a baby in the bed person, but she's big enough now that I'm confident I won't crush her. I still don't see myself sharing the bed with her all night.
I also checked with our pediatrician, who says she is indeed old enough to self soothe, but that a lot of parents feel uncomfortable letting their children cry it out at this age.
I guess my questions here are, did you sleep train? At what age? How did that work for you? And if you didn't sleep train, how is that working for you now? Is your child still in the family bed?
Eric worried that the pediatrician I had chosen was too far away.
As it stands now we love our pediatrician, and so far she doesn't seem to be too far away. Still I made note of his concern.
When I started meeting more and more neighborhood parents it turned out that several of them were visiting the new Tribeca Pediatrics branch in the neighborhood. (We don't live in Tribeca. It's still called that.) The founder of the practice is Dr. Michel Cohen (named by the New York Post as the hip "must-have" pediatrician). Those pictures of him all look pretty great, not only because he's French and rides a bicycle everywhere, but because Annie Leibovitz shot them...because her children go see him.
If you read this article, you'll also see that he's "not for everyone".
A few weeks ago while at the Giggle sample sale, I picked up his book The New Basics and also the Weissbluth for good measure.
We've been under the impression that Sophie is teething, because at times her drool is so fantastic it inspires me to ridiculous hyperbole. SHE IS A GREAT MYTHIC BEAST. SHE IS DROOLING AND STOMPING HER WAY ACROSS THE COUNTRYSIDE. GREAT LAKES HAVE BEEN FORMED IN THE FOOTSTEPS LEFT IN THE WAKE OF HER AMERICAN TRAVELS.
Also she enjoys chewing on her fingers.
But then I read The New Basics which described the scenario above and then said "the next door neighbor, who knew somebody who had a baby once, confidently diagnosed her fits as 'teething episodes,' but we looked all over her mouth and couldn't find any teeth at all." Then he goes on to say that babies just have a lot of saliva at this age and also like to chew on their fingers, and get upset when they're overstimulated.
This made me feel a little silly. Then I wondered how I would really know if she was teething or not. Then I thought, who cares? She's in some sort of discomfort, does it matter if teeth are coming, slowly, or not at all? Then I though, yeah, it might matter, because I don't want to give her medication for teething if she isn't.
So feel free to share your thoughts on this subject.
The last issue is this. Sophie used to sleep through the night. Now she doesn't. Partly because she might be teething. Partly I suspect it's because she's had a few developmental spurts. I'm back at work now so this is more difficult than it used to be as well.
So the Modern Basics book and the Weissbluth say that she's old enough to self soothe. All we have to do is put her in her crib and let her cry until she figures this out. The only problem is I find this impossible to do. We tried it once and I did exactly what you're not supposed to do--I went and got her when I couldn't handle it any more. On one hand I find it crazy/silly/impossible to let her cry and cry when I can make her feel better very quickly. On the other, I worry that she's not learning to self soothe and maybe I'm being a bad parent by not letting her learn, because it's easier for me to fix it than to let her learn for herself. And then I also wonder if I'm being a selfish parent because I'm expecting my baby to conform to my schedule, since I want to be a working mom. Also, me, me me me, and finally, me. Sophie seems to be just fine with the amount of sleep she's getting.
So in the meantime I've gone into the complete other direction by attending to her at night, and then pulling her into the "family bed" in the mornings for a nursing/sleeping session and cuddling. I didn't think I'd be a baby in the bed person, but she's big enough now that I'm confident I won't crush her. I still don't see myself sharing the bed with her all night.
I also checked with our pediatrician, who says she is indeed old enough to self soothe, but that a lot of parents feel uncomfortable letting their children cry it out at this age.
I guess my questions here are, did you sleep train? At what age? How did that work for you? And if you didn't sleep train, how is that working for you now? Is your child still in the family bed?
posted by Laura at 7:15 PM
7 Comments:
Go with your instinct. My friend, Terrie Ann, had her first child two months after Eric was born. She put Kenneth "down" at 7 pm at night and he promptly woke up at 5 am in the morning. He did a little crying when put to bed, but apparently it didn't bother Terrie Ann.
Eric went to bed around ten o'clock after I rocked him to sleep. He slept all night (after I started giving him solid food. And took him off the asthma medicine that he didn't need.) I never did that self-soothing stuff because I've never heard of it. Eric was just very social and liked to be rocked to sleep.
There are societies in this world that carry their children around with them and nurse them until they are three.
So who's right?
Go with your instincts, dear daughter. You've got good ones.
Oh, and give Sophia some solid food - like fruit or rice. The kid may sleep better.
Solid food may help with the sleeping, but I really don't think she's hungry. She will go back to sleep if I nurse her, but my instincts say this is a comfort, not hunger, thing. For instance, I think she'd be perfectly happy to be rocked to sleep, but nursing is easier for me, so that's what I do.
Oops, that was from me.
Arden slept through the night until 3 months. Then he quit until, um, last year? We thought he'd started teething, too. Who knows?
We didn't sleep train (but did co-sleep from day 1 until he was 20 months old and he went straight to a bed--passing right by the crib). Then we did the "you stay in bed and close your eyes" thing. I think that whatever feels right to y'all as parents is likely the best thing for your girl!
Yes, our two little ones still sleep with us. Sometimes at night, when they "hop on pop", he kicks them right off. But I don't really think this is an issue since they have four legs and a tail, they pretty much land on their feet.
Sorry, wish I had advice - but since I don't have any experience, advice would be hard to come by. Good to know I have someone to pose these same questions to in a few years!
What does your mom say? You and Patrick were somewhat different, and that's a good perspective since all I have is Eric (and David - I was ten when he was born.)
Interesting question - this self-soothing thing. Jordyn was an extremely demanding baby until she turned about two. We'll see how she turns out, given that her parents aren't quite as 'conscious' as you and Eric. That's not a 'negative.' Just an observation.
So your instinct says that she wants comfort. I say, "Give it to her." Unless you're "fagged out" in the morning. Then you might try plan B and C. (Plan B - feed solid food. Plan C - let her cry.)
P.S. As I said before, I couldn't do Plan C. But you da mama, so it will be interesting to see what happens...
we are sleep training (trying Ferber first) after we move on the first, probably closer to 6 months. I will be sure to let you know how it goes.
I am not ready to cio yet, but I suspect Nathan could figure it out if I did.
My pediatrician also was pretty adamant about no solid foods before six months for breastfed babies- she pointed out Nathan is growing just fine without them. (We are also having an LA version of Brooklyn-Manhattan debates over keeping her, as we are moving to the Valley and she is in Beverly Hills, but I love her. Also the Valley is not Brooklyn.)
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